...who's you ?
.... I am you... few weeks back, I tried to be there, but you didn't give me a chance !
...so now what you want?
...nothing, just nothing. I don't want anything, I just want you to accept me !
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...So that's how it starts. The Fever. The Rage. The feeling of Powerlessness, that turns good men...cruel !
Batman v Superman
I just love this quote. I don't know whether the movie will beat the Batman trilogy or not, but this quote has done the magic.
I have been meeting new people since last month or so.
I met a person in Human Resources today. Works in a Micro-finance firm. Helping in nature.
I asked why do you help others, while leaving? "Because I know how it feels when there is no help available" , he said.
I had enough time to think over it.
Have I ever helped my own self?
Have I ever even let my own self to express fully, without any rules, regulations, taboos, dorms?
I am not sure.
I am not sure, what if I have allowed me to express the fully who all would have accepted the show and who all not !
Are we not the ones to play by rules set by others?
Each time, I had told myself to be in the box for few hours, I had rejected me. I wasn't sure if that 'me' had placed a show or not, but I certainly rejected the possibility of it.
I have started to watch my deeper, dormented, suppressed, drowned self in past one or one and a half weeks.
I am not enjoying it.
I am feeling full.
Letting the old me to express. Accepting him, his possibility, making me quite vulnerable, but I am accepting me.
Letting me to play the field.
Am I changing ?
Not sure, but I think I could be. No-one from the circle left me so can't be sure. I still eat, sleep, work, write.
What has changed then ?
May be my limits. They broadened. My self. I am growing. Opening up to possibilities of what I could do, think, dream, be.
I don't want to die in Chaos.
Certainly not.
Are you open, the most possible version of you ?
If not. Read the quote.
...So that's how it starts...!!!
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